A poem I have just written, would you read it and share your thoughts and ideas on it? Criticism is welcome? - welcome bag letter
Empty dreams on the extended pavement
Published in small crystallites
by children playing in the shadow of the sun,
Strands in the absence of wind
The die is cast aside in the corner
Hope of the Child
Youth who do not achieve the objectives of the cruel earth, jump,
Goto optimistic
Saxophone notes floating window
crisp and clean as the air, ha
When we clean chimneys
Cast canning tomatoes
fragrant red light when the red has a smell
found in canned tomatoes
and dried roses wilt
Roses with the thorns of life and the pains of childbirth,
and have you ever just
went to see the sun over the summer
every house on the square
Utopian sweet crude, and American --
However, a portrait, if at all
was a small red car made of plastic hanging on the streets
and the postman does his rounds - "Hey postman
what in the blue bag for me? - Avatars
a &# 039; spits out a "Han
I wrote a letter Crisp dazzling and blinding on the white
the brightness of the sun slowly across the parchment sizziling
Duty cycle, walking forever, and ...
and what his
majestic towers obedient citizens to fulfill his speech
rusty wheel at the state, has its tasks
Angel white throat crazy, screaming in
tired of the routine
and at the end of a genius, programming, before they
and burn in hell, the great new industry that
made the rounds of the playoffs, and that
the protocol, the protocol terrible
say "yes suh" saw no "paehaps saw"
maybe just crazy, crazy lead in life you
Development of the world of fat and proud
Bulging trade, while drying up the wells.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Welcome Bag Letter A Poem I Have Just Written, Would You Read It And Share Your Thoughts And Ideas On It? Criticism Is Welcome?
3 comments:
Well, I do the rest of your story.ut comes with "Love You Ever Just"
Somehow I lost there and the story seemed divided. Both are good.
I would say 10 is a poet, but because he broke down when (I give the poem s), 8 No, unless you received as a writer.
His picture is striking. I like the descriptive language and the picture you paint with words. I like your perfect transition between the suburbs and then the postman and his inner turmoil. I wish I could hear you read!
His picture is striking. I like the descriptive language and the picture you paint with words. I like your perfect transition between the suburbs and then the postman and his inner turmoil. I wish I could hear you read!
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